Recently, I’ve quit watching TV news entirely. The world has become so much scarier now that I have children. Our local news stations seem to carry the most sensational of news– house fires, car crashes, tragic accidents– it became more than I could bear. Each time a new headline flashes across the screen, I think about the families of those involved. My home is my family’s safe space. A warm bubble where I can shelter and protect them. TV news became an unwanted intruder; inserting itself and interrupting our curated home life.
This morning, news broke of a daycare worker in a nearby town being arrested for child pornography. The idea that parents entrusted their children to her care only to have them exploited in the worst possible way made me feel ill. My knee-jerk reaction was “thank God I can be a stay-at-home mom and not send my child away for daytime care.” Which is a totally valid reaction to that news. I do indeed thank God every day for the opportunity to stay home and raise my babies. But that is not a choice for millions of other mothers. While the daycare babies in question were not my babies, they were someone’s babies. The guilt that must be plaguing those parents is unfathomable to me. That is where my mind went. I immediately put myself into the shoes of those involved. I felt how they must feel, even if only fractionally so. It was crushing.
If I could, I would keep my babies at home with me always. The notion of homeschooling crosses my mind every time news of another school shooting barges into my safe, home bubble– which, if we’re honest as Americans, is every few days. Seventy-seven days, on average, to be exact. But even if we were to become homeschoolers, it is unrealistic to expect to shelter and protect them always. There will be bullies on the playgrounds, there will be hard conversations to be had about current events, there will be things I wish they could unsee. These are some of the harsh realities we face as parents.
I reclaimed the month of May as “Me May” with the entire point being to treat myself as if I were someone I was in charge of caring for, the way I care for my children. There will be more on this later, but I spent a large part of the month reevaluating how I cared for myself. I don’t just mean “self care” of face masks and bubble baths, but really caring for myself and my well-being. My son, Jack, is allowed to watch his iPad on occasion, and he enjoys YouTube Kids. I am okay with this, because his YouTube Kids app will only show him channels and videos that I have pre-viewed and “green lit” for his consumption. Why wasn’t I protecting my own peace of mind in the same fashion? I stopped catching the midday news over lunch while the kids napped. Instead, I sat outside and read or simply soaked in the silence. I noticed my mood lightening and my general world outlook becoming more positive.
This is not to say that I am totally cut off from the outside world, no. I am just more choosy with when and how I consume news. Instead of doom-scrolling world events while nursing (guilty!) I enjoy the bonding time with my littlest. In place of the 24-hour news cycle, I get a daily newsletter from historian Heather Cox Richardson with observations of contemporary American politics. I might argue that I am more up-to-date on current events than ever. Now, the actually impactful stories are not lost in the overwhelming crush of “important” news. And, of course, every once in a while, someone will share a headline in my normal, everyday, social media feed. But, it is easier to scroll on by now that I recognize it as the intrusion that it is.
Do I recommend this practice for all parents? Not necessarily. Our primal urges to protect our children from the evils in our world is one that should be honored and heeded. And I believe that we should extend those same protections to ourselves when possible. TV news was never meant to run 24 hours a day, yet it does, and it is harder to shield ourselves. Could your home benefit from a news detox? Think about it.
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